Overview
All three of these end in ください, which means “please give me ~,” and they differ only in what you’re asking for. てください requests an action — “please do ~” (待ってください “please wait”). ないでください requests the absence of an action — “please don’t do ~” (待たないでください “please don’t wait”). をください requests a thing — “please give me ~” (水をください “please give me water”). So the thread tying them together is ください itself: with a noun, you’re asking for the thing; with a verb in て-form, you’re asking for the favor of doing it; with a verb in ない-form, the favor of not doing it. The shorthand for students: action → てください; no action → ないでください; thing → をください. They confuse learners because each needs a different verb form (the て-form vs the ない-form) or a noun, and mixing those forms is the main pitfall. The sections below sort them out. The entries lead with a simple example, then a funny one.
てください — “please do (an action)”
Explanation
てください asks the listener to do an action. You take the verb’s て-form and add ください: 見てください (“please look”), 教えてください (“please teach me”), ちょっと待ってください (“please wait a moment”). It’s the everyday polite request — used for asking favors, giving friendly instructions, and directions. Depending on tone it can range from a warm request to a mild instruction (a teacher saying 読んでください, “please read”), so it’s polite but not the humblest possible form.
Grammatically, everything depends on building the て-form correctly, so it’s worth reviewing. For る-verbs, drop る and add て (食べる → 食べて, 見る → 見て). For う-verbs, the ending changes sound: う・つ・る → って (買う → 買って, 待つ → 待って), む・ぬ・ぶ → んで (飲む → 飲んで, 読む → 読んで), く → いて (書く → 書いて), ぐ → いで (泳ぐ → 泳いで), す → して (話す → 話して). The irregulars are する → して and 来る → 来て, plus 行く → 行って. Once the て-form is right, ください just clips on.
The register is polite and everyday. The teaching anchor is “please do,” built on the て-form: てください requests an action. It differs from ないでください (which requests not doing) and をください (which requests a thing). If you want someone to do something, てください is the fit.
Examples
すみません、もう一度ゆっくり言ってください。 — Excuse me, please say it slowly one more time.
📸 旅行で、知らない人に「写真をとってください」とたのみました。その人は十枚もとってくれました。でも、ぜんぶ、その人の大きい指が写っていました。 — On my trip, I asked a stranger, “Please take a photo.” The person took ten whole photos for me. But in every one of them, their big finger was in the shot.
Common mistake
Don’t attach ください to the dictionary form — it must be the て-form. ✗ 待つください and ✗ 待るください are wrong; it’s 待ってください. Watch the sound changes: 飲む → 飲んで (not ✗ 飲みて), 書く → 書いて (not ✗ 書きて). If the て-form is wrong, the whole request is wrong, so drill the て-form first.
ないでください — “please don’t do (an action)”
Explanation
ないでください asks the listener not to do something — it’s the negative request. You take the verb’s ない-form, add で, then ください: 食べないでください (“please don’t eat it”), 心配しないでください (“please don’t worry”), 写真をとらないでください (“please don’t take photos”). It’s the standard polite way to ask someone to refrain — common on signs (入らないでください “please do not enter”) and in gentle personal requests (泣かないでください “please don’t cry”).
Grammatically, the key is the ない-form. For る-verbs, drop る and add ない (食べる → 食べない, 見る → 見ない). For う-verbs, change the final sound to the あ-row and add ない (行く → 行かない, 飲む → 飲まない, 待つ → 待たない) — with one trap: verbs ending in う take わ, not あ (買う → 買わない, not ✗ 買あない). The irregulars are する → しない and 来る → 来ない. Then add で + ください. So the full path is: verb → ない-form → +で → +ください (食べる → 食べない → 食べないで → 食べないでください).
The register is polite and everyday. The teaching anchor is “please don’t,” built on the ない-form + で: ないでください requests refraining from an action. It differs from てください (please do) and をください (please give). If you want someone not to do something, ないでください is the fit.
Examples
ここはとても静かな場所です。大きい声で話さないでください。 — This is a very quiet place. Please don’t speak in a loud voice.
🍰 私はケーキを買って、れいぞうこに「食べないでください」とメモをはりました。次の日、ケーキはありませんでした。メモには「とてもおいしかったです」と書いてありました。 — I bought a cake and stuck a note on the fridge: “Please don’t eat this.” The next day, the cake was gone. On the note, it now said, “It was very delicious.”
Common mistake
Don’t use the て-form here, and don’t forget で. ✗ 食べてないでください and ✗ 食べないください are both wrong; the correct build is 食べないでください. Also mind the う → わ rule: “please don’t buy” is 買わないでください, not ✗ 買あないでください. Positive request → てください; negative request → ないでください.
をください — “please give me (a thing)”
Explanation
をください asks for a thing — an object you want to be given, ordered, or handed. The pattern is noun + を + ください: 水をください (“please give me water”), そのりんごをください (“please give me that apple”), これをください (“I’ll take this one”). It’s the everyday phrase for shopping, ordering at restaurants, and asking for items. To request a specific quantity, put the number/counter after を: 切手を三枚ください (“please give me three stamps”).
Grammatically this is the simplest of the three because there’s no verb to conjugate — just a noun, the object particle を, and ください. In casual speech the を is often dropped (これください), but the full をください is the clean, polite form. Remember that ください here keeps its literal meaning, “please give me,” so をください naturally takes a noun: you cannot put a plain verb in front of it (for actions, you need てください instead).
The register is polite and everyday. The teaching anchor is “please give me,” a noun + を: をください requests an object. It differs from てください and ないでください, which request actions. If you want to be given something, をください is the fit.
Examples
すみません、つめたいお水を一つください。 — Excuse me, please give me one cold water.
🍜 レストランで、私は「メニューで一番安いものをください」と言いました。店の人は「では、お水ですね。」と言いました。お水はただでした。 — At the restaurant, I said, “Please give me the cheapest thing on the menu.” The waiter said, “That would be water, then.” The water was free.
Common mistake
Don’t put a verb before をください — it’s for nouns only. ✗ 食べるをください is wrong; to ask someone to eat, use 食べてください, and to ask for food, name the noun: パンをください. So keep をください for things (a noun + を), and switch to てください when you want an action.
How to choose
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